After 1000 year

I won't say , it has been along time , Becoz it stupidly has been ...
Each time I come here , I feel the little girl first started blogging here .. me ,
This place is really heaven to me ,
my closed book , that no one can see ....

DONATION FOR CHILDREN OF IRAQ

I've recently get involved in some charity composed of all medical students and other respectable people , We had an activity , a couple of days ago we cooked at our own homes some deserts and pastries and we presented them as doctors to some little angelic children recumbent in hospital , Some astonishing expression appeared on the faces of child's families and relatives as a reflections to this gesture of hope :) I can't express my happiness of being there all that time , Knowing new friends and sharing heavenly moments with them ... I'm planning to add a bottom in my blog FOR DONATION FOR CHILDREN OF IRAQ by some way or another , I totally trust my sources and know very well the money goes to people who really need it ,, Any one have an Idea how ?

My Gyne Exam

I was remembering a couple of days how was my OSCE in Gyne ! Beeing very nervous , the Stethoscope fell from my hand on the ground , thermometer was broken , the Stethoscope had a bubble in its mercury cloumn , I wonder how this hospital works !! My patient was asleep , after C.S , So I was a frank annoying bug.. she had relatives with her *_* , and they are from one of Mosul townships .. they were talking , gagling , eating , chating , gosipping !! OMG I told them with shaking tone ,to lessen thier voice because i was having an exam , the senior left me with them returing after 30 min to exam- me ! Finally I made a horrible mistake , I examined the pt from the left , OMG .. But the senior knows me very well , and knows how I was active in her sessions :) Oh I was nearly forget , after exam I had a special things happened to me , It's soo nice that I can't speak about ;)

A dusty day

a dusty view of garden , I insisted to make those
 rod of the window visible
in order to look like a prison 

Okay I woke up yesterday at 3:00 pm as I slept till 6:00 am .. I expected to see a suuny sky with ocean's blue color , But with sorrow I saw so many dust here and there :(

OMG , I even began to sneeze and cough , too many small markets closed today , I didn't go outside as usual with 0 gained experience today !

speaking about sleep , I have not experienced that something called " sleep over " with any one of my friends , I barely  slept in my grandma's house for once and I spent the night missing mom and crying  !

I insisted to go back home as soon as possible , I see myself different from them totally ... and I don't feel like to spend the night with any one of my friends , and I even try to think about it !...

The only other room I can sleep in it , Is my future Husband's  ;) 

returning to dust all the Mobilya in the house get dusted with ugly expression , all my exhausting work the day before yesterday gone with the wind .. 

Speaking about experiences , I'm planning to visit hospital with some friends , giving some new low financial level  moms all stuffs they need for postpartum period .. I can't tell if I can attend but at least I have the intention :) ..
BTW these sand storm called " God's anger "

pray for me 

Hello again :)

Oh, What can I say !

I'm Back here , Finally .. At least for now ..

I wonder if you still remember me :)
I can't catch the point I should start talking with, I'm not sure what you have missed.

Today drained my power indeed, I was WOKEN up FORCIBALY from 5:40 am and till now with 2 hours of sleep and a journey across the borders of Kurdistan ..with out water or food and I must act as a good girl every minute , you know it's Ramadhan !
Wait ! have you ever thought  I'm not  always ? ;)
It was a  bunch of days  since I attend a surgical  operation for the first time of my entire life O_o .. It was a strange feeling , and I was just a watcher !
and in case you are wondering about my study , I passed this year  with GOOD results ;)
by the way I'm not familiar with  the new environment of blogger till now ! I hate it

Despair ! no no

What I'm seeing  in  the hospital is crushing  of feelings ,i wonder if i can get over it or NOT .. If i can  continue having hope or the disaster of despair is coming to reach me as well  !  I still remember that  woman moaning for his dead father whose soul's just left earth   , and that scream of  old women shouting of ketoacidosis !

I still remember that little girl looking at me , I can't  explain what was her look for .. but every time I recall it I become one step to cry !

I remember those astray  looks , those desperate feelings .. those tears !

Yesterday there was a bomb at nabi- Younis ( a neighborhood and an old souq in Mosul , site of the famous Jame3 (nabi younis ) ... 7 humans have been killed  !

I don't care who they are , what is  their religion and and nationality ! all I care about they are human beings and blood has been shed ! … woman has been widowed child has been orphan and a man has been killed !!

Next week – Tuesday is my final clinical exam in medicine , please pray for me to have a brilliant result !

Foolish!

I don't want to be the good one anymore ,  no one fears  the white heart sweet angel !

Dizzy!

What can I say ?? I'm very tired and my eye lids stick to each other fainting !(I use Arabic ·  eloquence sometimes in English , maybe it means how much how I love both languages !):D

However , I'm so busy these recent days , and I cant get enough sleep ! :(( … always thinking and thinking !

Working on a research in medicine for fluid charts and ignorance in giving fluid supplements  in Iraqi hospitals , now residing in alsalaam teaching hospital here in Mosul (formly called Sadam's teaching hospital)!this is number one … number two is working on a seminar for virology in herps virus , this doesn't include the chaos  in  my head with al  lectures and books .. and this disgusting pharmacology !! I hate it!!!

BTW , violet for peace  has been chosen as one of the best Iraqi blogs , thank you tripbase for support and chosing , for more read this …

Pray for me ..

Talking out NOT loudly !

Every Step you make in this life , either gives you a push or gives you a slap,

Every person you trust , either gives you hope or steals everything you have !

Nothing we have is truly ours , we just fake it , pretend … we have friends … life or a knowledge and so on!

I hated the idea of blogging a while ago , there is no big deal happening in my life , no new places to visit … these exams have sucked my blood !.. and pharmacology , was a nightmare!

Tomorrow is the last exam .. ah!

Is there any one still reading here ?!

God , give me hope !

OMG,


I'm here since 13th November !

Don't feel like to do anything,to write anything …

To say anything ,

I search in simple things for any .. any thing gives me any any hope !

I hate this time of year before mid-year exam , when I'm exhausted by every mean …

OMG!

God , give me hope !

Thanks !

Ah, my God !
Finally that black cloud vanished  from my sky !
My vital energy  has returned , and my love to life is knocking my door …
Thank you , God .. for everything !

Disgusting pharmacology !!

OMG, I'm dread of tiredness  !!
This pharmacology is disgusting , today we had two lectures and it's all about ATROPIN and its colleagues :(( , my brain was about to explode and my eyes were about to jump from their place !!
Today , I laughed a lot with soso , she is my soul mate .. I love her more than any thing !
I miss my nephew , that little angel !! and miss his mother too :(
That session was exiting , the senior doctor  asked me to take history and to diagnose a patient  , inspire its  being very early for that coz we are just in the 3rd week of our practice , but I seemed very anxious , he read my eyes and asked me to do that in front of my colleagues and thank God I was very good :)
I can feel myself when I'm in the hospital , I feel I have purpose in this life , some aim I have to make accomplished this day or another to lessen people's pain ..

Pray for me :)

Wondering #2

Why the life is such a mean?
Why does the person have to transform many of his/her  principles and views in order to live ?
Why should he/she  have  many faces to overcome the people's scratching of their reputation ?
Why should he /she have to pronounce his/her religion in every word just to convince people she/he is religious and afraid of God (pious) while she/he is SO MEAN!!!
Why life has turned upside down , either I can't understand it , or it's so tough to understand!

Hopes and the dream!

It's the second visit to hospital ! I'm so excited !....
The first patient was 85 years old, but mashallah she was healthy and has sense of   humor !
After the session I  made a  picnic with soso in the hospital garden :D , other things of
my life are improving (I pray for that ) and I hope this year will be better !
See ya

Finally in hospital !

Hi all !
I miss you people  ! I miss my blog and your comments!
Nothing important has happened since the last entire, but today was a big deal !!
Today is the first day in my clinical life! Today is the first day when I'm able to wear stethoscope on my neck and hold neurological testing hummer in my hand !
It's huge transformation from a theoretic study to clinical applications , I can't explain my feeling now,, but it's my life long dream before my eyes !

Peaceful Eid!

So many things provoked me today in spite of Eid:

1- a story I've heard: two married couples, after too many years of marriage ..
they decided to get divorced , the cause is the husband's intention to have children in spite being unable to ..earlier in their life ... the wife was patient and stayed with him all those years , and she   was not thinking of kids just for his sake , now he is good and can have children and has found someone to implement his plan with , so he decided to end relationship , marry and have kids!!
and more over , he refuses her to have a normal life as a single , imagine he wants to leave her and at the same time he wants her to obey his orders !! what selfish creature men are?!?!
2- the pastor who is intended to burn Quran tomorrow has not ever read Quran and he never knows what is there inside it!
3- seeing children of Iraq play with plastic guns and machine guns, they act seriously and their war-acquired violent habits wish those guns are real to block their hunger of seeing blood and bodies !

few things made me happy:
1- receiving several cards and Eid greetings
2- hearing my sister's voice , and knowing she is visiting us tomorrow
3- seeing  my family happy
4- trying  to smile whatever has happened


Eid saeed ... and may peace cover the whole universe!

Closest places to my heart #2

Barcelona - Spain

All of Germany , and anything reminds of Second WW and Hitler !

Moscow-Russia

Milano-Italy

Zurich-Switzerland 

Well, I posted the closest places to my heart at former post  , and maybe I'll post more of them just  for fun :), what can I say I adore travel , if only I was  christopher columbus !!!


P.S, photos are not arranged as the closest to the far-most

Ah, I'm so tired from speaking ,
if you just scroll the page down , you'll certainly have headache,It has been aweek since th last time i was here , so the stats is a new option , the post which has gotten the most audience is "about Dr.violet", so the readers here are not interested in what I'm speaking here as much as he/she is interested in knowing who am I really!

No one give a damn , and every one read and leave ..of course expect the faithful readers!
so I'm not willing in speaking too much , in fact i have nothing worthy to talk about but doing one of my favorite  hobbies : cooking ( you will see them later)
nowadays every one blames me for deleting my Facebook and being away form the whole internet, I keep giving them reasons which are not satisfying ..
well , maybe it was a hasty decision , but i  totally convinced by it !
at the same time i miss all the discussion i used to make , every thing i was sharing

Special cake made by me !

and all good friends i have known !

Chocolate cake made by me and my little sister

Pasta made by me at 2:46 am

it's so baffler issue to me ... i wait college to make me forget all those stuffs

Me and the eivils

 
Have you every had this feeling?when everything is turned black to you, you can't trust any one ,
all of people have turned evils to you with no mercy and humanity !

I think once again, what has happened to make  me feel like this?
Who I'll blame ? me ? others ?my stupidity?folly?my bad ideologies ?
Or my innocence shell , that I refuse to get out of it!
Yes, I think a lot, and blame, punish myself for nothing
All I'll gonna say, sorry for being human !

Forbidden Boys

When I first entered college , I was too shy !

Or as a matter of fact , I thought boys are dangerous thing , so they isolate us from them for about 10 years , hoping that when we and them get into college , each of us are adults enough  by then !

I supposed  this , any way!

During  high school , and when I go to market or something , and it happens if I see a boy , I get so confused and my face blushes , and this continued for about 1 month of the college !

And then I was introduced to persons that break my shyness down , I always say if I'm a shy I wouldn't change !

Okay , all right !

They use to say to me I'm a leader personality !  but i always need a push , but I don't agree with them

I always adore peace and calmness and hates people gossip and chet chat !

At the same time I have the ability to listen and to be a friend to the most difficult personality in the world , it won't be more complicated than me any way … at least as I think !

okay , let's return to what I was saying..

I got involved in many activities in college , and I got over my shyness problem , but I faced another problem as a result !

The 10 years of isolation between boys and girls , as much as it's useful and wise as much as it is unfair !

How can a boy doesn't speak to a girl for 10 years , gets used to the presence of her might sit next to him at the chair in a lecture ! he is human being at the end!

All right , my personality is always encouraging …

I encourage every person that I think he/ she has talent in any thing !!

But this is not normal thing for a girl , here !

There is a rule … you encourage >>>> you care !

How stupid that rule is ?!!?

Me, myself love writing so much, in Arabic or in English , and I wrote for the first time at the first year of college !

And for this I considered not a normal , girl !

If you are beautiful , clever , has other interests other than medicine , you are not normal !

So be ready to have harasses , get envied and hear gossips for things deserve and other and are the most NOT!!

I won't tell what those people said about me , they are all ignorant and don't deserve my attention , at least this is what I try to persuade myself in !

Now

-I don't dare to ask a male-colleague how is he … this  will  be understood BY ANOTHER WAY!

-I don't dare to write publicly , this  will  be understood BY ANOTHER WAY!

-I don't dare to have public discussion , this  will  be understood BY ANOTHER WAY!

When I still had a face book account which I hate the most , there was a male- friend , whom I respect very much , he is open minded and older  than me , I didn't dare to congratulate him for his birthday_ in spite knowing when is it by my events in that damned face book_by sending something on his wall , coz this will be explained by another way  by my friends or by his ! and I didn’t dare to congratulate him by a private message coz I fear the word private by itself and till know I blame myself for not wishing him a happy birthday !

For a reason of my raising up environment and my family's way in education , I wasn't shocked by dealing with boys , at the contrast, I feel so happy when I discuss worthy things with boys more than girls , and i don't know the reason behind that !...  and by a reason of having an angelic brother , I thought all the boys are angels like him!this fact is not true , with sorrow

I talk too much now a days , don’t get used to it , I'm so moody as you know , but this may be continued !

And before i forget , special thanks to all my readers form Istanbul , and of course all around the world .