Wednesday, January 07, 2009

The Figure

As I was studying in my room since 9 AM and for 4 days , I was feeling really exhausted ,out of power and hope. I even quarreled with anyone tried to enter my room saying that " Violet, your room is out of O2 , how can you breathe, for the sake of God ??!!" I made  no attention to such sayings and stayed sunk in my lectures … swimming and even diving deeply into them!... then for a -second-  period of non - thinking (brain's stoppage).. I imagined , no I saw a figure out of my room through  my window … standing in the street . I didn't know who he was or what he is doing , I even didn't know if he was a child , a man or a woman .. all I knew and saw a dark figure with a little spot of light was moving onto him .. I saw with my naked eye that he was wearing not that decent clothes and seemed to me he was starving and was looking for a house to give some food  to him .. I spontaneously opened my window and then looked into his eyes .. I realized that he was staring on me all that time .. with a look of pity  homogenized with  pettiness.. I didn't understand that look .. maybe he was looking at me by  this way , because I have  a house to live in and he doesn't , maybe because I was above and he was  at a lower level than me (my room is upstairs)… maybe it has reached a degree with him that he can't see anybody above him , maybe , maybe , maybe …..

 After staring and looking for an non period  of time .. I decided to go downstairs and ask my mom to give him some bread or anything worthy to eat  .. I normally headed to the door …hopelessly and helplessly I continued trying opening it … no hope .. it refused to be opened .. and my loud mixed with scare cries didn't reach anyone … I didn't know what to do … I headed to the window again .. as the rescuer  of mine was that  anonymous .. unfortunately and  as a result of the mocking fate .. he gazed  at me again with that look , nodded his head hopelessly and DISAPPEARED !!!! what can I do ??? where can I go ??? who will get me out of here .. I said prayers  … I begged God to get me out of this mess … of this catastrophe, out  of this room … NO hope …

Eventually I realized.. did know  , that man was  feeling pity on me … just like he knew I was imprisoned … and he tried to say that with his  looks … during a second of stupidity and not understanding what a person can say with eyes that I have never been like this before… I couldn't know what was he trying to say..

Moan/weep  on yourself   before you moaning   on others … that exactly what he was trying to say !!!

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This story was born from my imagination .. as a result of thinking for a second  , this thought rabidly arrived to my mind …. You know what?? that thought came to my sight during reading the subject of systemic lupus Erythematosus!!! Really I don't know what to say …  

7 comments:

  1. great post .try to have a break and a deep breath.you need a rest after reading SLE :). we are not machines.
    wish you luck.

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  2. Wow, I can't believe you are studying so hard! Maybe a little too hard :D

    Seriously though, you will have many opportunities in your life to help other people...perhaps that is what your imagination was trying to tell you.

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  3. miss violet,
    adri you feel trapped, but relaaaxxx. Life is too short to moan and weep. laugh, laugh as much as you can and do put yourself first!! Aguuul, are you sure that guy wasn't winking at you? hhhhhhh
    :D

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  4. Oh, and I must say. Your Khawtery is VERY good :)

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  5. B.D.,
    Thank you :)... I'll try to have a
    deep breath and try to be more powerful for staying having the same spirit and the same hope ...
    ---
    CH
    Thank U :)
    I'm studying that SO hard .hhhh
    yes.. maybe that's what was my imagination trying to say :)
    ---
    Touta,
    hhhhhh, girl !!! next time i travel to my imagination ... i'll take my torch which i ALWAYS forget to charge with me to see what's happing ... as you know there is a possibility of the power's going off...hhhh...
    imagination .. imagination ... really Touta i'm not that kind of girls who look in others eyes while talking ,hhh... and additionally i don't open my window during winter.. that's the cause of the O2 lack :D

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  6. Hello Violet..
    maybe, no I'm sure it is to late to tell you happy new year.
    May this year will be full of joy, love and good achivements.

    I must say that I realy realy liked the new look of your blog..it is amazing and strange.

    I liked your imagination story, girl take it easy with your self we do not want to lose you because of studying. I learned during my study years that 8 countinous hours of studying per day are really sufficient.
    so my advice for you is to enjoy what you are doing, even if it was hard to understand what you are reading, or if you see someone like that poor hungry man looking at you with that look, you can enjoy it by helping him as much as you can..

    by the way, are you at college or school? and what are you studying?

    best wishes

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  7. Dear Micho,
    I appreciate your advice :)..
    and thank you for wishing happy new year to me .. I really wish that to you ,too.
    I'm in college.. and about what I study maybe I'm gonna tell you and my readers about it later:D
    BTW, glad to know you liked my new layout:).. it's nice of you to say so.
    best wishes to you ,too.

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