The Figure

As I was studying in my room since 9 AM and for 4 days , I was feeling really exhausted ,out of power and hope. I even quarreled with anyone tried to enter my room saying that " Violet, your room is out of O₂ , how can you breathe, for the sake of God ??!!" I made  no attention to such sayings and stayed sunk in my lectures … swimming and even diving deeply into them!... then for a -second-  period of non - thinking (brain's stoppage).. I imagined , no I saw a figure out of my room through  my window … standing in the street . I didn't know who he was or what he is doing , I even didn't know if he was a child , a man or a woman .. all I knew and saw a dark figure with a little spot of light was moving onto him .. I saw with my naked eye that he was wearing not that decent clothes and seemed to me he was starving and was looking for a house to give some food  to him .. I spontaneously opened my window and then looked into his eyes .. I realized that he was staring on me all that time .. with a look of pity  homogenized with  pettiness.. I didn't understand that look .. maybe he was looking at me by  this way , because I have  a house to live in and he doesn't , maybe because I was above and he was  at a lower level than me (my room is upstairs)… maybe it has reached a degree with him that he can't see anybody above him , maybe , maybe , maybe …..

 After staring and looking for an non period  of time .. I decided to go downstairs and ask my mom to give him some bread or anything worthy to eat  .. I normally headed to the door …hopelessly and helplessly I continued trying opening it … no hope .. it refused to be opened .. and my loud mixed with scare cries didn't reach anyone … I didn't know what to do … I headed to the window again .. as the rescuer  of mine was that  anonymous .. unfortunately and  as a result of the mocking fate .. he gazed  at me again with that look , nodded his head hopelessly and DISAPPEARED !!!! what can I do ??? where can I go ??? who will get me out of here .. I said prayers  … I begged God to get me out of this mess … of this catastrophe, out  of this room … NO hope …

Eventually I realized.. did know  , that man was  feeling pity on me … just like he knew I was imprisoned … and he tried to say that with his  looks … during a second of stupidity and not understanding what a person can say with eyes that I have never been like this before… I couldn't know what was he trying to say..

Moan/weep  on yourself   before you moaning   on others … that exactly what he was trying to say !!!

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This story was born from my imagination .. as a result of thinking for a second  , this thought rabidly arrived to my mind …. You know what?? that thought came to my sight during reading the subject of systemic lupus Erythematosus!!! Really I don't know what to say …